Welcome to Part II of My 5 Great Enemies, my five installment series on the vilest people or entities that have crossed me in one way or another. If you missed Part I or want a refresher on the series and how it works, click here for Part I: #5 Mikhail Tal. Today we move on to Enemy #4: Benny Watts.
Who is Benny Watts?
Benny Watts is a supporting character in the hit Netflix drama The Queen’s Gambit. He is introduced as a sort of bad boy chess talent, but is soon surpassed in chess accomplishments by the show’s protagonist Beth Harmon. He turns to supporting her in her ongoing rise to the top of the chess world, leading a ragtag band of would-be seconds and other hangers-on. Throughout all of this, he dresses like an absolute clown.
What are his Greatest Crimes?
1) The Quote
There is one very easy way to make my enemies list, far easier than building a lifetime body of work against me in the realm of victorious white games or provocative opening theory. It is to create one signature iconic weapon for my haters to use against me. In all of history, there are three standout incidents of disrespect against the Caro-Kann Defense that particularly electrify and rally all of its detractors. One was covered in Part I of my series: Mikhail Tal’s outrageous smirk as he pretended to play the Caro-Kann against Bobby Fischer. The second is Benny Watts’ famous quote, discussed below and trotted out endlessly by self-satisfied wags. The third you will have to wait to see until Part IV of my series.
So what did Benny Watts say? That the Caro-Kann is “all pawns and no hope.”
All pawns and no hope. Succinct, yet brutal. The barb works because it contains enough truth to resonate with the listener. “Hmm, yes, there is a bit of a focus on pawn play and structure in the Caro-Kann, isn’t there,” you say. “Truthfully, I have sometimes felt bereft of hope as an opponent closes in on me slowly in a position where I have been left with no counterplay.”
Yes, it can happen, you may play the Caro-Kann and find yourself with only pawns left and nothing else, including hope. But there is much more to me! Sharp counterattacks! Well-developed pieces on comfortable squares (such as the often excellent light-squared bishop, outside of the pawn chain). A shortage of truly weak points for white to attack! Crushing victories by various methods! The charge isn’t true!
But still, it is close enough to the truth that it really stings. And it can’t be factually disproven. Ultimately, when someone wields this quote there is no devastating comeback to reply with. The accusation… sticks. A little! Only a little. But with the widespread popularity of the show, even non-chess players now associate me with timidity and weakness. A strong blow has been struck!
2) He supports Beth Harmon’s rise to the top of the chess world
Why is this bad, you might ask? He helps a brilliant young woman who suffered from a miserable childhood to achieve her greatest personal and professional ambitions. How nice of him! Well here is the problem:
Beth Harmon is a shitty person.
I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this. Look at her traumatic childhood, you’ll say, when she was witness and almost co-victim to her mother’s suicide. She was forced into a serious substance abuse dependency at her miserable orphanage. Her strange relationship with her aloof adopted mother ended in tragedy. She clearly has many unresolved psychological issues that developed through no fault of her own.
All of this is true. We should cut Beth Harmon a lot of slack. However after that slack has been cut, I still find her appalling!
Look at how she treats the closest people in her life. She learns the game from Mr. Schaibel, the janitor at her girls’ orphanage. After discovering her immense talent, he encourages her and helps her in many ways such as facilitating a meeting with the local high school’s chess club. After her adoption, she begs him to loan her $10 so that she can enter a chess tournament. The prize winnings from that tournament, which she could not have entered without his help, then seed all of her future chess playing and resulting income and fame. Surely she is grateful to him? Apparently not, as she never contacts him and doesn’t even pay him back the $10!
Now let’s discuss Jolene, Beth Harmon’s best friend at the orphanage and someone who constantly looks out for her like an older sister. First, see here for some cultural criticism of this problematic role. Jolene plays a crucial role in supporting Beth in her difficult early days at the orphanage, and is her only friend (and a loyal one) - a kind, wise, older girl who provides Beth the role model she is lacking.
Sounds like someone she’d want to keep close to her for life, right? Nope, after being adopted she never looks back or makes any effort to find out how Jolene’s life is going until Jolene sails back into Beth’s world to rescue her again. I guess there was no real reason for concern, I’m sure Beth just assumed a black woman living in the American South in the 1960s who was raised in an orphanage that pumped her full of drugs probably was just having a real easy time and didn’t need even so much as a little companionship from her childhood friend. (All credit to Jolene for actually becoming a success in life out of those circumstances. And all without becoming a total asshole like Beth.)
These are the two primary examples, but Beth treats just about everyone else in her orbit with some combination of disinterest, opportunistic exploitation, and rude condescension. In short, who should you, a reasonable and sensible human being, have been rooting for in the ultimate clash of Beth Harmon vs. Vasily Borgov? Its a TV series so we don’t know the characters in great depth, but here is what we do know:
Borgov:
1) Seems like a good dad! He takes his kid to the zoo in Mexico City prior to the tournament, when probably a lot of players would have been prepping heavily for their games.
2) Was uncommonly gracious and decent about Harmon finally beating him, character traits that are sometimes in short supply in the chess world. (I mean sure, we don’t know this until after the fact, but certainly we hadn’t seen anything to suggest bad character from him)
Harmon:
1) As she follows her winding path to success out of painfully difficult origins, she makes sure to step on the hands of those who helped her rather than pulling them up with her. She literally doesn’t care at all about anyone other than herself.
2) She failed to pay back a $10 loan to a janitor at an orphanage in Kentucky. I mean, that guy could definitely have used the money!
It is clear that we all should have been rooting for Borgov. And to veer back vaguely towards Benny Watts, who this article is technically about, he as her chief trainer and second shares some responsibility for her successes.
3) I mean, look at this guy:
What is this look even supposed to be? Urban cowboy? Contract killer whose giant ego prevents him from going incognito so he is easily thwarted very time? A man who doesn’t even know how to button his own shirts?
What a joke.
Mitigating Factors
1) He is kind of a sad and pathetic guy - real cocky, thinks he’s the greatest, but is ultimately completely outshone by his erstwhile rival. He kind of gets his comeuppance there already.
2) He is a fictional character, which makes him a lot less threatening.
Summary
This guy is bad! The all pawns and no hope thing is going to be with us forever, it feels like. But he’s not the very worst. In fact, he is only the fourth worst of my enemies - stay tuned for the last three.
Maybe he meant he has no hope of winning against the best opening in chess...
What is this guy's problem?!